Better is Better: A Practical Guide to Navigating Overwhelm

In the previous post of this series, we focused on the external world of “Conducting Collaboration”. Now, we turn inward again to explore the tools that help us when our inner world feels overwhelmed.

In 2018, my family was caught in a terrifying cycle. We had just celebrated our younger daughter’s first birthday when she began experiencing a pattern of common colds that would migrate to her chest, causing severe lung inflammation. This led to a distressing rhythm of monthly visits to the ER. The feeling of helplessness was immense; we would count down the moments until the next visit. The problem was a massive, overwhelming puzzle with no clear solution.

Our turning point came when she was admitted to our local children’s hospital. There, under the care of professional pulmonologists, we finally began to find a path forward. Success wasn't a single event or a quick fix. Instead, we redefined it as the slow, determined process of piecing together a puzzle to find care for her and a game plan going forward. Our mantra became simple: better is better. Any small improvement was a victory.

That experience forced me to find better ways to function under pressure. When you’re faced with a long to-do list, unexpected interruptions, or simply not knowing where to start, you need a toolkit. Over time, I’ve collected practical frameworks that help me build momentum, even on the most challenging days.

1. Set the Conditions: UPOD and the Minus-Two Rule

Before you begin a project or task, you can position yourself for success. A key principle is Under-Promise, Over-Deliver (UPOD). It has roots in the business world, and I learned it from “Mad Money’s” Jim Cramer on how companies manage customer and investor expectations with such things as earnings reports and product releases.

An everyday example for me is one with our older daughter, where I “under promise” by telling her that I will be ready for our dedicated fifteen-fifteen time in 30 minutes, even if I only need 10 minutes…20 minutes at most. This created a buffer and the chance to “over-deliver,” which was crucial for building trust.

A related principle for navigating frustration is the “Minus-Two Rule” from former CIA officer Andrew Bustamante. If you feel “task saturated” with seven tasks, aim for five. This immediately prevents the overwhelm and helps cultivate the conditions for action.

2. Find Your Foothold: “The Next Right Thing”

Years after that difficult time in 2018, I was discussing challenges like it and others with a former teacher. He offered a piece of advice that perfectly named the process we had stumbled through: 

Ask yourself, “What is the next right thing to do?”

This question cuts through the noise and helps you focus on the immediate, manageable step in front of you, guided by your own “North Star” of personal values. It’s about making today just a little bit better than yesterday, or even this moment better than the last, because better is better. For us, it was documenting a symptom, making one more phone call, or asking one more question.

3. Sustain Your Energy: NICE Goals

Making a step is essential in building momentum, but how do we continue and sustain it? This is where the NICE goals framework from Ali Abdaal’s book Feel Good Productivity comes in handy, providing a structured approach to setting goals that are both manageable and motivating.

Let’s apply this to a real-world project that can feel overwhelming, like the process of starting this very blog. A vague, daunting goal would be: "Become a successful blogger." Here’s how to reframe it using NICE:

• N is for Near-term: First, I focus on the immediate future, not the distant outcome. Instead of worrying about a year from now, my goal becomes, “Publish one new blog post in the next seven days.” This makes the path forward more precise and less overwhelming. This is a crucial mindset to adopt when embarking on any new endeavor.

• I is for Input-based: Next, I shift my focus from the results I can't control (like how many people read the post) to the effort I can control. My goal isn’t “Get 1,000 views,” but rather, “Dedicate 45 minutes each day to writing, editing, or brainstorming.” I have learned in other parts of my life that by focusing on the process, the outcome often takes care of itself.

• C is for Controllable: This highlights the importance of taking ownership of my actions. I can't force people to share my work, but I can ensure it gets out there. A controllable goal is, “Share the finished post on my LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook accounts.” This grounds my efforts in actions I have direct power over.

• E is for Energizing: Finally, the goal should give me energy, not drain it. Going on walks in our neighborhood, with its rolling hills, a creek, and tall, mature trees, is refreshing, inspiring, and helps me think. So, an energizing goal is, “Take two walks this week specifically to record voice notes with ideas for the next post.” This integrates something I enjoy (walking) with the task, making the entire process more sustainable and even fun.

Using this "NICE" framework transforms a daunting ambition into a series of achievable, energizing steps that build on each other, creating a sustainable path for progress.

Frameworks for the Moments That Matter

These frameworks are practical, but their true value is revealed in life's most challenging moments. Looking at the picture from 2018, I’m reminded that "productivity" gets redefined under pressure. The "next right thing" might simply be to read a book aloud. An "input-based goal" is just to be present.

These tools help us find our bearings when we feel lost. They are reminders that progress, especially when life is challenging, isn't about perfection. It's about finding a way to make things even slightly better. Thankfully, our daughter is now doing great, a testament to this mindset. Because better is better, and sometimes, that is everything.

A Question for You:

Which of these frameworks resonates most with what you have going on? And what's a simple trick you use to get started when you're feeling stuck? Let me know in the comments.